Letting go of control

Over the summer we have desperately been trying to move house. The last time we did this was 10 years ago, but like childbirth, my brain had ‘forgotten’ just how awful it is!

This process, which after 4 months looks like is all going to fall apart, has tested my patience, my mind and my ego. I am used to an element of control in my life due to my work ethic and the relationships I enjoy building with people. House selling is a completely different beast.

I was not ready for people going back on their word, keeping secrets, underhand tactics and ruthlessness. This is not how I operate.

But, like every challenge, there are lessons to learn and this is what I wanted to share with you today. To prevent this process from becoming all consuming I have had to do or accept certain truths. I hope they may help you too.

  1. Learn the difference between want and need. We do not need to move house. We will still live a happy and healthy life if we stay where we are.
  2. Stop expecting others to live by your standards. This just leads to disappointment and frustration. We are all different, but we can be proud of who we choose to be.
  3. Breathe. When you feel your heart beating faster and tension headaches setting in, BREATHE.
  4. Being angry does not move anything forward.
  5. Give yourself an hour, or ideally overnight before responding to something that triggers you to feel intense emotion. Mirroring the behaviour of others will make you feel even worse.
  6. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.
  7. Return to gratitude.
  8. Identify your boundaries. Have a ‘that’s it’ exit. When will you walk away from a sale, a friendship or a relationship? Knowing your limit gives you back an element of control.
  9. Create a Plan B. What does that look like? What are the benefits of Plan B?
  10. NOTHING is worth sacrificing your physical or mental health for.

Focus of the week

Which one of my ‘lessons’ did you need to hear today?


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